So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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