haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
