It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
