38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
