You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
