Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
