I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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