make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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