i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
