my vag is so smooth its legendary
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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