I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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