maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
