you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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