Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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