Dual....:-)
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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