actually, I'm a sock model
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
