I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
wow bdsm is so cute
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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