How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
