I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
