in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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