Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
