dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
