Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
