Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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