so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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