So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
