i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
