I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
