If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
