I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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