We won't sleep together?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
