people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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