yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
