Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
