I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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