It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
