God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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