fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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