tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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