Where is the hickey?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
