Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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