I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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