Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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