Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
