I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
