omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
