Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
