capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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