the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
