I wish I could punch you in the face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
