508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
